More Wanderings

You know, I continue to question what I am supposed to do in life. It seems like I am wired to help people in certain ways, but I wonder what this really means. Does it mean that I am supposed to teach? Does it mean that I am supposed to counsel people? What does it really mean?
A few years ago my parents told me that I had to go to school, but at that time I didn't want to go to school at all. I decided that computers were what was for me. That, I must admit, was simply driven by money. I was driven by the idea that I could make so much money and not have to worry about anything. Well, this was seriously a bad choice in my life. I went back to school after this because I felt a call to ministry. I got my bachelors degree in youth ministry. I, however, could not stop here and decided to go even further and get a masters degree so that I would be even more fit for ministry. However, this did not go so well, so now I find myself back in technology simply to make money to pay down my debt. I recognize that I am just digging myself deeper and deeper in debt. I do not so much enjoy what I do as view it as something that I have do in life. I was reading my old poetry last night and read how I wrote "if you are not having fun in your job why are you there?" So, I have to question why I am really here. I cannot give an honest answer. It is something that will take a lot of thought and prayer to really figure out. Do I actually see myself in Southern California for the rest of my life? Not at all! Do I really want to go back to school and build up even more debt? Not at all! Will I have to figure out something pretty soon? Probably. I need to do something productive with my life.
I recall what happened the last time that I was involved in technology. I ended up working for eight months full-time before I finally started to realize that I.T. in that way was simply not for me. There has to be more to life than what I am currently doing and I will spend some time trying to figure out what I need to do.