Some Thoughts

I think a few weeks back I wrote that I would no longer talk about theology, but I find myself still engrossed in it since I do work for the seminary and also the fact that I do go to church.

As the IT Specialist at the seminary I am responsible for certain parts of our website and one such part of the website is our Faculty Reflections. In the reflection for October one of the professors recalls details of his trip to Africa over the summer and what he witnessed in Rwanda. I have to say that in reading it it deeply saddened me. I knew of the genocide in 1994, but I guess as a sheltered individual (I have never traveled outside of the US besides a week-long trip to Banff in Canada, which still does not really count as traveling outside the US) I have never thought about the deep consequences of all this. There was really no help for these people in the 100 days of utter bloodshed where allegiances were severed to gain absolutely nothing. The bloodshed brought no good on the country and it is still recovering from this terrible event. Then I think of the fact that there are so many loving people in this nation that got ripped apart and the fact that the true God is actually recognized by some of the people and I just marvel. I marvel at the fact that in that nation that has witnessed so much bad stuff that they are probably stronger in their faith than most people in the United States. We think it is tragic and turn our back on God when something minor happens in life. We turn our back when a parent dies (at an old age I might add in some cases) or when some disease is discovered in us. But, these people have gone through so much more and they still keep their faith. These people have lost most, if not all, of their support system and they still remain strong in the faith.

This brings me to my second thought. I went to a couple of debates on Sunday between a Muslim and a Christian. The second debate was on whether Mohammed was a true prophet. Now I will admit that there is a tendency to get angry when your belief system is absolutely crushed (who wouldn't!) but it just seemed to be overboard. This debate was supposed to center on that very important subject but it ended up being a bashing of Christianity by the Muslim man. Some topics which were brought up were things such as the fact that we should not allow strange people into our house (meaning orphans) or the fact that we should not allow those orphans to have the inheritence that the children of our loins shall receive. Now, I am not quite sure how that really proves or disproves that Mohammed was a true prophet, but it seems to me that this is quite an evil thing. Yes, this man would admit that we are to care for orphans, but somehow these children are cursed. I do not agree with this at all, but simply see it as our loving embrace of those less fortunate. Yes, all women are not capable of having children, but is this really a curse from God? Or, is it really a curse from God that a child's parents are not alive when that child is growing up? I guess I am really just seeing this from one side and I am sure that a Muslim could properly defend their view, but it just seems really harsh to me to not embrace those less fortunate.

More Wanderings

You know, I continue to question what I am supposed to do in life. It seems like I am wired to help people in certain ways, but I wonder what this really means. Does it mean that I am supposed to teach? Does it mean that I am supposed to counsel people? What does it really mean?
A few years ago my parents told me that I had to go to school, but at that time I didn't want to go to school at all. I decided that computers were what was for me. That, I must admit, was simply driven by money. I was driven by the idea that I could make so much money and not have to worry about anything. Well, this was seriously a bad choice in my life. I went back to school after this because I felt a call to ministry. I got my bachelors degree in youth ministry. I, however, could not stop here and decided to go even further and get a masters degree so that I would be even more fit for ministry. However, this did not go so well, so now I find myself back in technology simply to make money to pay down my debt. I recognize that I am just digging myself deeper and deeper in debt. I do not so much enjoy what I do as view it as something that I have do in life. I was reading my old poetry last night and read how I wrote "if you are not having fun in your job why are you there?" So, I have to question why I am really here. I cannot give an honest answer. It is something that will take a lot of thought and prayer to really figure out. Do I actually see myself in Southern California for the rest of my life? Not at all! Do I really want to go back to school and build up even more debt? Not at all! Will I have to figure out something pretty soon? Probably. I need to do something productive with my life.
I recall what happened the last time that I was involved in technology. I ended up working for eight months full-time before I finally started to realize that I.T. in that way was simply not for me. There has to be more to life than what I am currently doing and I will spend some time trying to figure out what I need to do.