My Greatest Fear

My greatest fear in life is the fact of the sin that is over me. I see myself caught in the same sins all the time and it really depresses me. Satan wants me to think that these sins have condemned me, but these sins have done nothing to me, for I repent of them. I realize how much I have actually broken away from the perfect life. I realize how much things could be different, but alas I have still sinned. The mere fact that I have realized how evil I am, though, already tells me that I have been rescued. None of us will ever be perfect, but with Christ we are made perfect. What is my great fear? Apart from Christ it is the fear of death, but death has lost its sting and the grave has no victory over those who have been set free by Christ. I must admit that my prayer life is not what it once was. I remember in college I was told by the campus pastor that he went through times where he found it very difficult to pray so he would pray the prayers of saints that were recorded in a book of prayer. I am now finding it difficult to pray also. The amazing thing, though, is that God already knows what we need and we can actually pray things such as "give me words to speak." God will give us the words to pray to him and it is wonderful. Even sitting in silence works. I also recall that I have many times fallen asleep while praying. You are in God's presence at these times and it is so wonderful. It is at these times that you should realize that you are close to God. God, however, is never far away from us. In fact, God never changes where he is, we just try to get further away from him. At the times that we need God the most we are at fault, not him. We have run from where we should be and we need to turn back. So, my simple prayer is "Give me words to speak at those times when I find it so difficult to pray. I know that I am not what I should be, but I am nowhere close to what I could have been. Thank you Lord."