CRC?

You might be Christian Reformed if...
you hear "tulip" and think "total depravity, unconditional election,..."
you visit another church and the second question you're asked is, "Are you related to...."
"voices" aren't something you hear, but read and write.
when you hear the word "King," you think of peppermints.
you can't think of any use for peppermints outside of church.
you know what a Psalter Hymnal is -- and why it's called that.
you think you go to a contemporary church because they use the new gray Psalter Hymnal.
you know someone who has left the CRC because of the new gray Psalter Hymnal.
you've heard of a guy named Dooyeweerd.
you think kids who go to public school are strange.
the biggest decision of your life is between Calvin and Dordt (or Trinity, or Redeemer, or King's).
you have at least one relative in an independent Reformed church.
you think RCA is a "liberal denomination," not a brand of electronic equipment.
a church picnic isn't the place to find Ms. or Mr. Right -- because everyone's related.
you get agitated and start looking at your watch when the minister says, "And my 4th point is...."
you're sure that 'klompen' is the Dutch word for 'shoe,' not someone's last name or the sound heard in church at the end of a service.
you know that Calvinism is not a daily habit of reading the comic strip, 'Calvin and Hobbes.'
you have your house fumigated because termites were found in your wife's souvenir wooden shoes.
you develop a craving for ham buns.
you know that on Sunday, 9:30 a.m. and 6 p.m. are the times when church should begin.
churches are radical if their evening service starts at 5 p.m.
you became depressed when the Banner began to arrive in your mailbox every other week, instead of weekly.
you decided to form a study committee to add items to this list.
your study committee submitted a majority and minority report.
someone mentions Pastor John DeVries, and you have to ask which John DeVries that is.
you think copper wire was invented by two Dutchmen fighting over a penny.
you get a sun burn when you read under a lamp.
you consider 30°F in the winter is warm.
you take off your shoes before entering the house
your last name begins with "Van"
you think the Arminian flower is the daisy ("He loves me, He loves me not, He love me, ...")
you get excited at the thought of salted licorice
you don't think twice when someone mentions their Oma
you insist on singing the Dutch words to Ere Zig Gott
you have the comics from The Banner taped up on your door and actually laugh at them

Just Some Randomness

For some reason in the shower this morning I started thinking about this. You have stations like KLOVE that supposedly play Christian music. But as any Dordt student that has taken GEN 200 Music will tell you there is no such thing as Christian music, just Christian lyrics. Alas, okay, Christian lyrics. I admit that there are some songs out there that do talk about God. But does that necessarily mean that these songs should be sung in church? By NO MEANS!!!! This week sometime during one of the Den Dulk Lectures we will be singing a fairly new song, "Here I Am, Lord." I will admit that this is a pretty good song and it is glorifying to God. But, if I ever hear of a church playing a song like "For the Moments I Feel Faint" during a service I will scream. This song is also known as "Never Underestimate my Jesus" by some illiterate people. It is just retarded some of the songs that people think should be sung during Worship time. Another song that comes to me is "When I Call on Jesus." This, I will admit, is an inspirational song, but I don't believe that it really has much to do with worship. Yes, I am pushing towards the Psalms. But there are still some good hymns out there also.
And then on KLOVE this morning I hear something about how we can protect the planet with God's help. Excuse me, but what in this world does this mean? Do you mean that you are doing everything by yourself right now and God is not helping you? Hmm, that sounds ignorant.
I learn new interesting things every day. Like today I learned about two guys that were fighting about transubstantiation. However much they actually fought about that, they both would affirm that there were only two sacraments. This was in the 7th Century. There was no Protestant church at that point. Hmm. There are some churches that only have one sacrament. But then, what does that really mean? I will never understand those churches. What is the purpose of believer baptism if communion doesn't come along with it? I am not bashing the baptist brethren at the seminary. Sure, I don't agree with believer baptism, but those churches that only have one sacrament practice believer baptism only. Yeah, if that didn't muddy the water for ya I don't know what would. The emergent church stuff is just garbage. Actually, I remember at Youth Specialties a few years ago that anyone could have the Lord's Supper. Now if that wasn't an interesting event I don't know what would be.
Okay, think about the name of the show: American Idol. Think about the title given to some people: Teen Idol. Why do people struggle to be these titles? Is it for that 15 minutes of fame? All the fame in the world won't bring any closer to anything that you can dream of. It is just impossible for me to understand these people. Yeah, I can sing, but that doesn't mean that I necessarily should go on national television and prove that I can sing. Is it so that these people can get record deals? Are you banking everything in your life on some little events that may get you a few years in the spotlight? What ever happened to all these past winners? Yeah, I am out of the mainstream so that may be easy to answer for you. American Idol? Come on. I will admit that these people can sing, but they are not my Idols. I tend to think more like Americans who are Idle. People should get real jobs. Am I saying that these people should do something besides sing? You beat your bottom dollar I am.